When entrepreneurs, performers and artists achieve a good degree of success, they sometimes fall victim of a little voice inside that keeps, quietly but unmistakably, says something like, “You don’t really deserve this, do you.”  

This little voice seems to reside just under our daily conscious thinking, and whilst it rarely shouts for our attention, it can prove very hard to ignore.

If that inner voice is convincing enough, it may cause you to ignore everything that you have genuinely achieved thus far and could even cause you to give up completely. Its effects are clearly disempowering – sapping your energy, your motivation; causing your thoughts to spiral downward and your vision to fog over. So you do need to have some strategies to deal with it. 

This voice can steer you into a place where you find it hard to believe in yourself. It can ruin your confidence, cause you to keep silent or hold back from doing what you need to do.  

Yet, this is not something anyone else can ‘fix’ for you - it’s down to YOU to address this situation and resolve it.

Whatever you do, do not let it derail you!

Hearing such negative thoughts in your head is not the real problem, of course, because even the most successful people in the world face these same doubts and questions. The issue is simply, what will you choose to do with it?  

One of the most liberating things for anyone to realise is that this voice does not actually have any credibility. You can actually choose to NOT pay any heed to it at all.

So, let’s tackle this head on: Do you think you’re worthy of success?

As you face that question, see what comes up for you.

Now this is the crunch - in truth, your success has nothing to do with you being deserving in any way. Success simply comes as a result of consistently applying yourself to the principles that lead to success. 

“Success simply comes as a result of consistently applying yourself to the principles that lead to success.”

Just because there may be an inner voice spouting doubts over your performance or your worthiness, there is no need or reason for you to agree with it.  What would happen if you simply chose not to agree with it?

Certainly, you need to be honest with yourself and accept you will not always do everything perfectly. In any business it will not always be smooth sailing as you navigate the waters around you. But there’s a big leap between acknowledging that things not going your way all the time and a believing that *you* are not deserving of success.

Some people try to overcome their inner voices by using ‘affirmations’ to tell themselves over and over “I DO deserve this, I DO deserve this!” If done in the right way, this *can* have a positive affect. But my personal approach is to throw out any question of ‘deserving’ or ‘not deserving’ anything. Instead I focus on the laws that govern success. 

In a way, it has nothing to do with deserving at all! Rather, success comes to those who consistently apply themselves to the principles of success.  

Because underlying all this is the understanding that there are LAWS that govern success – and WHOEVER follows those laws will succeed. Sure there are bumps in everyone's road... but it’s probably better if you get the whole idea of *deserving* out of your head!

Do what's required and you *will* enjoy the rewards. It doesn't mean it will appear overnight but you will receive the rewards of success if you are persistent.

So don’t waste time worrying about what you haven’t yet achieved, whether you’re ‘good enough’ to warrant a favourable outcome. Simply press forward in the knowledge that success comes to those who address the right things in the right way.

Take time to study the laws of success. Find others who have achieved the sort of success you desire and model their ways of doing things; their mindset and habits.

Sure, there will be challenges to face at times, sometimes many of them, but worthiness doesn't come into it – not at all.

 

Mentoring relationships provide employees with someone who will share their professional knowledge and expertise in the field. The mentor serves as an objective confidant and advisor with whom the mentee may discuss work-related concerns with a wider view of career development and planning.

A mentor should serve as a role model and source of inspiration, information and experience from which the mentee can draw a wide range of advice to help him or her achieve success in both their current role and their longer term career.

The intention is that the mentor provides guidance, support and encouragement and the mentee responds enthusiastically and positively by taking these learnings onboard and applying them in ways that optimize success within the organization.

Mentoring should be conducted in a one to one relationship within an agreed schedule of regular meetings – whether face to face, online or by telephone phone. It is possible to conduct mentoring groups, only this approach creates a different kind of relational dynamic and may cause mentees to hold back from sharing personal challenges more easily proffered in a private setting.

A mentee should not, ideally, be a direct report to the mentor but should have a mentor who is at least two grade levels above them to assure they receive guidance from someone with adequate experience and maturity.

The mentor is there to guide, encourage and inspire the mentee’s own initiative rather than to dictate or demand a certain course of action. The mentee will inevitably take action on the recommendations of the mentor out of their genuine respect but they should never feel pressured to act in a particular way. 

An effective mentor possesses certain essential characteristics. Whilst each will possess particular and unique traits and emphases of their own, the following qualities are highly desirable for anyone who has a mentoring role. 

1.       Successful …and enjoying it

An effective mentor is one who has achieved evident professional success, has clear self-confidence, experiences professional satisfaction and, crucially, is willing to invest the time to share what they’ve learned with others.

2.       Focused on the Mentee’s success within the organisation 

A mentoring must be knowledgeable, compassionate, able to teach and also available (ideally in person, but also by phone and/or email) to help answer whatever questions they might have.  An exceptional mentor is committed to helping their mentee find success and satisfaction in their chosen profession, without feeling any threat from their successes, and act as an advocate of both the mentee and the industry they are involved in. 

3.      Committed to the mentoring relationship

An exceptional mentor will recognise that this arrangement is first and foremost a relationship – not merely a place to exchange knowledge. They must take this relationship seriously, genuinely caring and wanting to help those under their care become their very best. They welcome the chance to share their experiences and feel invested in the success of the mentee - taking pride in whatever progress they achieve along the way. 

4.       Provides guidance and constructive feedback

A mentor is willing to share the perspectives, experiences and insights that have led to their own success and can do this in a way that inspires and encourages the mentee – rather than intimidates them. They appreciate the ongoing effort of the mentee and empowers him/her through balanced feedback and positive reinforcement. This helps the mentee identify their current strengths and weaknesses and learn how to use these to make themselves more successful in the field. 

5.       Exhibits excellent communication skills

A mentor must possess excellent communication skills and is able to adjust their communication to the personality style of the mentee. Communication, of course, is a two-way street, so it’s essential that the mentor is not just a good teacher but a good listener too. This way they enable the mentee to articulate their specific challenges and adequately address their issues all the while fostering self-analysis, critical-thinking and a continual results-focused orientation.

6.       Willingness to share skills, knowledge and expertise

A good mentor is willing to teach what they know and is enthusiastic about sharing their knowledge with their mentee. They are able to accept the mentee where they currently are in their professional development and have a clear picture of what it is they can do to progress and succeed. Good mentors can remember what it was like starting out in the field and are able to recall the issues they faced at each level of their own development.

7.       Respected and trusted by those in all levels of the organization

Mentors are recognised by peers, subordinates and superiors alike as being competent, resourceful, perceptive, dedicated and effective in their own role and career. Only respectful people become truly respected. An exceptional mentor thus demonstrates an evident respect for their mentee, recognising that they are a unique individual who will benefit from being nurtured and guided, rather than pushed or driven. Mentors who have not garnered this kind of respect will have little genuine influence and those without a reputation of being trustworthy will lack the necessary ability to inspire their mentee towards their goals.

8.       Motivates others by setting a good example. Acts as a positive role model

The ultimate success of being a good mentor is to have a mentee who look up to their mentors and can see themselves filling the mentor's role in the future.  By showing the mentee what it really takes in the field, an exceptional mentor demonstrates the specific behaviours and actions required to become productive and successful. ‘Example is leadership’, as Albert Schweitzer rightly stated.

9.       Has a positive attitude with evident enthusiasm for the field

A good mentor must possesses a positive attitude about the goals and objectives of mentoring. An exceptional mentor believes that the mentee can substantially benefit from participation in ongoing mentoring and will adjust their mentoring style to help the mentee receive the teachings and demonstrations provided. A mentor must exude their own personal enthusiasm for their own role and genuinely value the role and potential of the mentee. The mentor’s enthusiasm in this is something that is invariably ‘caught’ by the mentee and this will result in the mentee feeling that their job has purpose, meaning and potential.  

10.       Values ongoing learning and personal growth

Good mentors shared what they’ve learned. Exceptional mentors, far from believing they have attained all they need to know, ensure they are continually learning and furthering the development of both their knowledge and their skills. In this way they not only have an ever-growing body of knowledge to pass on, they also set an example of life-long learning.

Forged in the fires of trial and fashioned on the anvil of experience, these core characteristics are essential for anyone wishing to step up to the role of mentor within any organisation. These are the essential traits that need to be borne in mind when mentoring mentors, so that knowledge is shared within the organisation, skills are rapidly acquired and a genuinely supportive, nurturing culture is established for long term individual and organisational success.

It’s often not so much what we do in business that counts, it’s *how* we do it.

Everyone has their own naturally tendencies – which can be used to great advantage or may equally become a liability.

It will be no surprise to learn that one of the first questions an investor asks when assessing the long term value of a start-up is who, exactly, is at the helm. 

They want to know not just who the brains behind the business might be; the solitary hero whose ideas will captivate the buying public, they want to understand who it is who is going to ensure the business is a lasting success.

They know that it’s never down to one individual, instead they are looking for a team that works together brilliantly, acts as a balanced, self-motivating, self-refining engine. Such as model may exist as a partnership, but the best combination invariably consists of THREE people.

Pythagoras is known for his mathematical understanding of the triangle, yet the man’s understanding of three-pointed geometry was actually more of a philosophy than a numbers thing.

Pythagoras believed that almost any problem could be solved if you identified the 3rd position. A and B are often obvious but he realised that the answer will not come through examining either A or B but rather by gaining a 3rd viewpoint (that’ll be C).

Serious business ideas need this third viewpoint and this is why Solopreneurs in particular need to be careful. They can be successful but only with a carefully selected team who can support and advise them in areas that don’t play to their own strengths. No one should believe they have all the wisdom they need to succeed. We all need to work closely with others who have the same passion and concern to make the business succeed but come at it with their own unique, complementary strengths.

But how exactly do you go about selecting your team?

This is where we should look at the three typical approaches people bring with them (which is yours?):

Head Up

The head up approach is about being visionary and imaginative. These people focus on the future, on what is possible in the days to come. They are great at dreaming up new ideas, inventing new solutions and motivating others to join the party.

Head Down  

The head down approach is to examine the details and get real. To research, to measure, to find the facts and focus on what the numbers are saying. Every business needs someone who is passionate about what can be evidenced - what’s *really* happening in the business. These guys will be able to state what would logically happen if a certain course is pursued. They provide an invaluable insight that the dreamy Heads Up crew simply don't see.

Head On

The head on approach is, of course, to tackle the problem directly. No subtlety here - if there’s an issue, they get right into the middle of it. If there’s a misunderstanding they speak to the person face to face as soon as they can. Confrontation is seen as the way to get things clear and get things done.

None of these approaches is, of itself, better than the others but whichever one describes best your general tendency, you’d do well to ensure you had others close by who naturally bring the other approaches.  

The strongest teams have a good mix of all three approaches. If the individuals involved respect what the others have to say, (argue though they will at times) better decisions will be made and numerous disasters will be avoided.

The biggest issue every business faces is blindness – but with three sets of eyes, looking at every scenario from three different perspectives, the best way forward is much, much more likely to become clear.

So, what’s your experience of partnerships and teams?